A Blog Post in the Hand, to quote my title, is not, and by not I mean pretty much never, worth two Blog Posts in the Bush. Despite the common saying that one would encounter were one to substitute the word “Bird” for the two words “Blog Post,” the saying is simply not true. Now, I don’t mean to be disrespectful to the wise people who come up with this sort of saying or to the wise people at Geico who are running a commercial asserting the truth of the maxim, but besides not being true for Blog Posts, the saying isn’t true for Birds either.
Basically, this laughable “axiom” suggests that because you already have the bird in your hand and thus don’t need to catch it, it is worth a lot more than those two birds in that bush way over there that you’d need to run over to and catch before they could be worth anything to you. While this may have been true back when we (humans) were cavemen and we relied on bird meat to survive, now, the only point in catching a bird is the thrill of catching a bird. Likewise, to write a Blog Post, or to write anything, for that matter, even if it doesn’t start with a “B,” is foolish and useless if you already have it in the hand. While writing can be a method of making a living, there are other methods of living and because of this writing only need be done with love or for enjoyment. To catch the spirit and soul of a great story is the point of writing, and if that spirit and soul does not come out of some effort or thought, what is the point of ever having it?
Submarines are boats that go underwater, for your information. This, coincidentally, is a metaphor for how I conceal the truth, or think I conceal the truth, when I write. I don’t really have any control over what truth there is in my writing, but I have happened to notice that what I write usually has nothing to do with anything I’ve ever done before, or even with anything I’ve thought of before. Usually, I try to think of something new to write about, something so disconnected from my person that it doesn’t have a personal feel to it. Unfortunately, I’ve also noticed that on occasion, or actually most times I write, that no matter how random or how distant I try to make my subject matter, it still retains an undercurrent of my personality, and the truths that I believe in. That is, to put it in highly symbolical speech, my truth is a submarine.
Once, I had to write a paragraph introducing myself to my English teacher. I couldn’t think of anything interesting, or I was too scared to, and instead just made something up. I wrote about how I was a Coke guy, and how Pepsi made every day I lived worse. Until that moment, I had never thought of that before and I had never connected it to myself. But, at that moment, it became a truth of my way of living and of my mentality. This seems like a good moment to return to my grand overarching metaphor and tell you that at this moment, the Submarine of Truth surfaced and inhaled some fresh air.
I’ve found that posting anything online, be it videos, poems, essays, or even status updates on facebook, is one of the most difficult things that I can and have done. Just creating this blog took me somewhere around an hour, while I changed and rechanged my url, and agonized over the name of the blog. By the time anybody reads this post, I’ll probably change my blog’s name at least five times. The problem, I think, is that anybody can see these posts until the internet dies—an event that I don’t imagine will happen for quite some time. That means to me at least, that my posts have to be perfect. If everything can be seen by everyone for eternity, then it has to show insight, it has to be funny, it has to be intelligent, or it can’t be online. Of course, thats not possible now. Those halcyon days of censoring every idea or whim i have to post on the internet are gone.
The gist is, of course, that now I’m required to post on this blog on a regular basis. Gone are the times of hexatuply checking each word that i put online. There is much too much to do, and too many posts to make, so I have to adjust. I haven’t reached that point yet.
I hope that I can edit this post after I’ve posted it. I’m starting to doubt that hexatuply is a word.
Edit: What does this have to do with Jive Talking?